In my six years of sailing the seven seas, I’ve met all kinds of new friends and interesting folks. But I’ve also met the problem passengers: the rude ones, the greedy ones, and the always-late ones.

Don’t be like them. Here are five cruising pet peeves and no-nos to avoid, so you can make sure you’re a crew favorite:

Don’t: miss the ship.

© Getty Images Getty Images

It’s every cruiser’s worst nightmare: to find yourself gazing up as your cruise ship sails off into the sunset…without you. Cruise lines run a tight ship, literally — and if you’re late, they will not wait. If you find yourself in this situation, it will be down to you to cough up the cash and pay for a flight to the next port of call. To avoid this, make sure you’re always on the local time. Otherwise, you could end up like British couple the Pratts, who arrived back at their Danube port only to realize their watches weren’t on central European time. It was noon in England, not Austria.

Don’t: hoard the food.

© Holger Leue/Lonely Planet Images/Getty Images Holger Leue/Lonely Planet Images/Getty Images

Much like Rebel Wilson, if my family went to a buffet growing up, we always took some home with us. No need to do this on a cruise ship. The buffet is open for much of the day, and sometimes for twenty-four hours — in fact, thinking back to my first cruise holiday as a young teen, I remember feeling like it was Christmas upon discovering this. If you’re really desperate to eat in your cabin, some vessels will even allow you to order directly to your stateroom free of charge.

Millions of Norwegians are officially off for Norway’s long five-day Easter holiday weekend that began on Thursday, with more than half of them out travelling within the country or heading abroad. There’s little sign they’re sacrificing holiday travel out of concern for the climate or the carbon emissions that flying and driving can generate.

Norwegian Air’s carbon emissions rose 51 percent between 2013 and 2018, largely because of its route expansion. The airline itself claims that emissions per passenger-kilometer have declined 30 percent since 2008 because of more fuel-efficient aircraft. PHOTO: Norwegian Air

Oslo’s main airport at Gardermoen reported more huge numbers of people passing through last weekend, as many seized the opportunity to get 10 days off in a row for the price of just three vacation days from work (Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday). A new survey conducted by research firm Kantar/TNS for the national tourism employers’ organization NHO Reiseliv shows that nearly 20 percent of those out traveling flew to other countries in Europe or beyond.

Others hit the road, loading up the car and driving to mountain cabins for spring skiing, opening up holiday homes along the coast, or visiting family and friends. Fully 78 percent of those reporting that they’d leave home during the Easter holidays planned to travel to another location in Norway.

“The vast majority of Norwegians still view Easter holidays within Norway as their top choice,” Kristin Krohn Devold, a former defense minister who now heads NHO Reiseliv, told news bureau NTB.

‘The new coal’
With 55 percent of those questioned replying that they’d leave home during Easter, the travel bug continues to bite, and that worries climate activists. Oslo newspaper Dagsavisen recently reported how another new study shows that an airline now ranks as one of the 10 largest sources of carbon emissions in Europe.

The dubious distinction went to Ryanair, according to the study conducted by the organization Transport & Environment (T&E). Norway’s chapter of Friends of the Earth, Naturvernforbundet, is among the members of T&E and was sounding alarms before the Easter holidays even began.

“When it comes to the climate, Ryanair is the new coal,” claimed Andrew Murphy, aviation chief at T&E. The organization used EU data showing emissions development for around 14,000 companies in various sectors. The nine biggest generators of carbon emissions were coal-driven power plants, topped by Belchatow of Poland, which released 38 million tons of carbon last year. The 10th spot on the list was Ryanair, whose flights around Europe released 9.9 million tons of CO2 in 2018.

Route expansion to blame
Norway’s two biggest airlines, Norwegian Air and SAS, released far less, at 2.8 million- and 2.5 million tons respectively, “but that’s more than what all the diesel vehicles in Norway released in 2017,” Holger Schlaupitz of Naturvernforbund told Dagsavisen. Norwegian’s carbon emissions growth from 2013 to 2018 hit 51 percent, much higher than SAS’ 6 percent and reflecting Norwegian’s major route expansion. Ryanair’s growth was 49 percent, while carbon emissions for airlines flying within Europe rose 26 percent on average.

While carbons emissions are falling in most other sectors including coal, they’re rising within the aviation sector because of the strong growth in airline traffic. Schlaupitz notes that Norwegians have contributed to that growth with 52 million passengers passing through state airport agency Avinor’s airports last year. That’s more than double the number in 1993.

“It’s clear that it’s too cheap for airline traffic to pollute, and that the prices for jet fuel are relatively low,” Schlaupitz claimed. He has no faith that either more fuel-efficient aircraft, electric aircraft or more use of biofuels will cut emissions from airline traffic, as long as it continues to grow.

Political approval for more airline traffic growth
All indications are that it will. Avinor actively seeks new airline routes from its airports and offers incentives to the airlines to get them. Avinor also remains keen to build a third runway at OSL Gardermoen. A majority in Parliament (formed by the government parties and the Labour Party) voted down a measure proposed by other more-climate-oriented parties in opposition to block it.

The airlines, meanwhile, defend their emissions growth by contending that their aircraft have reduced emissions per passenger-kilometer. Norwegian Air claims its emissions per passenger-kilometer have declined by 30 percent since 2008 because of major investment in new, more emissions-friendly aircraft.

“Last year Norwegian paid more than NOK 1.3 billion in so-called ‘environmental fees’ to the EU’s quota system, CO2 taxes on domestic routes and the airline seat tax in Norway and Sweden,” Norwegian Air spokesman Lasse Sandaker-Nielsen told Dagsavisen. He added that Norwegian Air continues to call for a CO2 fund that could be used to promote environmental goals.

The birds know it’s morning before you do. A single sweet note breaks the velvety silence and is quickly joined by a chorus of birdsong. Grape leaves rustle as some small creature wanders through the vineyard in search of breakfast. The inky darkness lightens to smoky grey and then brightens to gold as sunlight spills molten over the bluffs across the valley.

It’s another perfect day in wine country. And there are few places better to greet it than right here on the Golden Mile Bench.

The bench is a steep, sandy, gravelly, loamy slope just south of Oliver, pop. 5,000, the little town known as the Wine Capital of Canada. It’s British Columbia’s first sub-geographical indication, a unique place within wine country that just happens to be the perfect spot to grow lush Chardonnay and elegant Merlot. Some of B.C.’s greatest producers can be found here doing just that, among them Culmina Family Estate Winery, CheckMate Artisanal Winery, Tinhorn Creek Vineyards, Fairview Cellars, Road 13 Vineyards and Hester Creek Estate Winery.

Days move lazily here, broken by delicious moments. Hop in the car—or on your bike, though it’s easier to load cases of wine in your car—and meander along the numbered country roads that lead to Black Sage Road across the valley, where wineries produce peppery Syrahs and voluptuous Viognier. Head north, past the massive boulder known as McIntyre Bluff, and you’ll bump into Penticton’s twin sandy beaches. Head south, and you’ll find yourself in the desert surrounding Osoyoos and, just a few metres further, the U.S. border. But here, between the Golden Mile and Black Sage benches, it’s all rolling hills striped with vineyards, and hidden in their folds, people who want to give you lovely things to eat and drink.

You’ll need a central location to start from, a home base. A guest house like the Tuscan-style ones at Hester Creek Estate Winery will do quite nicely. They have kitchenettes, comfy furniture and, perched as they are high above the winery, patios with sweeping views across vineyards and valley. You can make yourself right at home without having to worry about pesky details like bringing in the harvest.

The winery itself is historic in this valley. Fifty years ago, back when everyone else in the Okanagan was still planting hybrid varieties like Vidal and Marechal Foch, an Italian immigrant named Joe Busnardo planted the first vitis vinifera here, including the Trebbiano vines that still produce a bright, crisp white wine each spring. The wines he made from these noble grapes were, by all accounts, terrible, but he proved that they would thrive here.

In the 1980s, Busnardo opened Divino Estate Winery on the site, and when he sold it in 1996, the new owners named it for the creek that runs along the south side of the property. In 2004, Prince George businessman Curt Garland bought the winery and hired Rob Summers, a veteran winemaker from Niagara, to produce its wines, which, please note, are no longer terrible. Far from it. The Cabernet Franc is elegant yet approachable, all black fruit and violets, and the Bordeaux blend known as The Judge is a powerful combination of juicy fruit and supple tannins.

Grab a bottle (or two) from the wine shop and some cheese and charcuterie from Oliver Eats, the new gourmet deli from local chef Derek Uhlemann. Or pick up some authentic tacos al pastor from El Sabor De Marina, the turquoise-blue Mexican food stand just outside town, if you can wait till you get home to dive into their savoury depths. Or, if you’re feeling adventuresome, head out to one of the great restaurants in the neighbourhood, which, happily, are all located at wineries: Miradoro at Tinhorn Creek Vineyards, The Sonora Room at Burrowing Owl Estate Winery, Masala Bistro at Kismet Estate Winery, or Terrafina right here, just down the hill at Hester Creek.

About a year ago, chef Rod Butters’ RauDZ Creative Concepts took over the Tuscan-themed restaurant, and while chef de cuisine James Hanna still takes inspiration from the Mediterranean, Terrafina’s new menu is proudly local and seasonal. It abounds in pastas, risottos and pizzas made with fresh local produce. Though truth be told, you could simply order the fully customizable boards that come loaded with marinated veg, cured meats and cheeses and be perfectly happy sipping wine at a patio table and watching the glow from the setting sun dance across the vines.

From Terrafina, it’s just a short stroll under the stars back to your guest villa. The night falls gently here, cool and fragrant, cattle lowing softly in the hills, birds trilling goodnight. Rest well in your suite, happy in the knowledge that tomorrow you can do it all again.

If you go

Getting there:

Both Air Canada and WestJet fly into Penticton airport. From there, it’s a 40-minute drive south to Oliver. However, if you plan to bring back wine, you might prefer the scenic five-hour drive from Vancouver along Highway 3.

While you’re in the south Okanagan, the hop-on, hop-off OK Wine Shuttle is a safe way to get to most of the wineries.

Staying there:

The new Coast Oliver Hotel is central, convenient and pet-and child-friendly.

For a more luxurious stay, head to the Tuscan-style Hester Creek Estate Winery Guest Villas—six well-appointed suites with a gourmet breakfast included—but be sure to book well in advance, especially during peak season.

Also check out:

Burrowing Owl Estate Winery Guest House; Kismet Estate Winery B&B or Silver Sage Winery B&B Luxury Suites.

Dining there:

Visit the local winery restaurants: Miradoro at Tinhorn Creek Vineyards, The Sonora Room at Burrowing Owl Estate Winery, Masala Bistro at Kismet Estate Winery, and Terrafina at Hester Creek Estate Winery.